


To Those Who Find This

by HintehDehPengu



Series: All Yogscast One-Shot Works [8]
Category: Hat Films - Fandom
Genre: Depression, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Paranoia, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 02:38:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5610763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HintehDehPengu/pseuds/HintehDehPengu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris Trott wasn't happy with anything in his life. That's not even the start of it, but rather... the opposite.</p><p>NOTE: I shall take this down if I am not happy with having it on my page.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Those Who Find This

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE.
> 
> If you're feeling suicidal/depressed there are plenty of websites and people who will listen and support you. I simply wrote this out of sadness one day.
> 
> I promise you it gets better, no matter how big or small of a problem it is.

Chris Trott wasn't having the best life. True, he had two best friends who have always supported him. But he felt like something was always missing. He had moved in with Alex Smith at the age of 9, due to child abuse from his father. He treated Alex like a younger sibling, and the two had always been close. Then Alex met Ross, at age 15. Chris watched as they both slowly fell in love. Alex always used to tease him with this kind of thing, saying he'd find someone one day but that day was not today. And he told him this everyday... Chris had never said anything to Alex, but... he'd always liked Ross. He locked himself in his room often, not wanting to face either Alex or Ross. He never let either in, unless it was important. Chris thought he had to keep his sexuality secret from Alex, in case he thought anything was happening between him and Ross. He got jealous like that. He kept his gay magazines underneath his bed, where Alex daren't look anyway. He was safe like this.

He was safe like this... Safe was not a word he would have used when it happened. To those who find this, Chris Trott is no longer with us.

One day, however, Chris was laying on his bed reading one when there was a sudden knock on the door. He quickly threw the magazine across the room. "Come in." his voice was croaky. This was a surprise... Ross opened the door. "Hey, um. I came to ask if you were okay. We're about to watch a movie and, uh. I wondered if you'd come watch it with us." he smiled. Chris shook his head. "I'm fine." he swallowed the ball of spit that had built up. Ross sadly nodded, slipping out of the room and closing the door. Chris sighed. This was the fifth movie they were watching this week... he'd sat down for one of them, and ended up falling asleep. He woke up with a sharpie penis on his face, which still hasn't completely gone. Alex has been too scared to knock on Chris' door since then, so he usually sends Ross. Come to think of it, Alex really hasn't spoken to Chris since... Chris really doesn't know what comes over him at times. A sense of insecurity, and a jolt of excitement. He always thought these two things would never happen at the same time, but boy was he wrong. He went to pick up his magazine again. He sighed, before putting it to one side. He was hungry, but he didn't want to confront either man. He made a plan in his head before he left the safety of his room. He usually did this. It made him feel more... secure about himself. He felt dramatically unsafe outside his room, for reasons unknown. His walls were painted a topaz orange colour. To him, this orange represented a secure environment. It made him feel safe.

It made him feel safe... Safe was not a word he would have used when it happened. To those who find this, Chris Trott is no longer with us.

Chris made his way out of his room, and began his journey to the kitchen. They lived in a one-floor house, and the kitchen wasn't too far from his room. He closed his door, quietly. He could practically hear the movie blaring from the front room. He had to walk through there to get to the kitchen, and began to feel a heavy weight on him. The weight of anxiety. He walked through the arch, into the front room. "Hey, brother! You did come to watch then?" Alex seemed excited. Chris shook his head, and continued to the kitchen. Alex lowered his head a bit, beginning to sulk. "Hey, it's okay." Ross smiled. "I just want him to hang out with us more." Alex whispered. "I know, baby. I know." Ross embraced him. Chris groaned a little, before reaching up into the cupboard. He grabbed down a bowl, and opened the freezer. The cold breeze caressed his uncovered skin. The breeze felt nice, a change from the hot air Chris felt usually. His room got really hot during the summer. Hot and sticky. And not for the reasons you think. Chris shook himself out of his thoughts, and reached for the ice cream in the top compartment. He took out the whole tub, and grabbed a scoop from the drawer. He scooped out four, almost, perfectly rounded lumps of ice cream. He let out a long breath, and put the tub of ice cream back in the freezer. He shut the freezer door, trying not to make too much noise. He put the used ice cream scoop in the washing up bowl, which was, appropriately, in the sink. He grabbed a spoon from the drawer across the room, and dashed out of the kitchen. He hurried past the couple, before either could say anything. He ran back to his room, and almost slammed the door in fear. He stood in place, but returned to his bed after a little while. He grabbed another magazine, and began reading and eating his ice cream. He felt safe doing this.

He felt safe doing this... Safe was not a word he would have used when it happened. To those who find this, Chris Trott is no longer with us.  
After about two hours, Alex knocked on Chris' door. No reply. He had come out of his room a lot today, and Alex knew something was up. "Chris, I'm gonna come in without your permission if you don't let me in." he called. Ross walked over. "Why isn't he letting you in? Let me try." he sighed. "Chris? Chris can you let me in?" he knocked again, lightly. They tried for about five minutes. "Okay, Chris. We gave you a chance." Alex opened the door, and the two of them walked in. They stopped in their tracks when they saw Chris' lifeless body laying on the floor. Blood was everywhere, as well as a bloody knife and a handwritten note. Alex couldn't look, and immediately ran to call 999. Ross, however, took a closer look at the note.

_"Ross and Alex, I am sorry. I couldn't take life anymore. I'm in a better place now. I just wanted to say something to both of you... I wanted to say thank you to Alex. Thank you for being there for me when I first had to move in with you. And Ross... this is... kind of embarrassing but. I love you. I never had the courage to tell you. I knew Alex would have a problem with it, so I left it. And I left it too long. Far too long... I'm sorry. Remember me always. Remember me when I was younger, when I was happier. Don't remember the person who was depressed, and locked himself in his room. I love you both. I shall always be watching over you, if I can. Goodbye. -Chris."_

Ross burst into tears, and Alex ran in. "T-the ambulance is gonna be here soon." he was still trying to convince himself Chris was still alive. "Alex. He's dead." Ross passed him the note. "No. I refuse to believe that he's dead!" Alex shouted. "Read the note." Ross gestured, and Alex did so.

The two of them spent the rest of the day in each others' arms. The ambulance had arrived, and then called a team to come and take Chris' body...

 

And Chris hadn't spoken a word of dishonesty... he watched over the two men for the rest of their lives.

"Chris?" Alex reached out a hand. "It's okay. You're here now. With me." Chris smiled, taking Alex's hand. The two stood for a while. A long while... it only took a matter of months before Ross joined them. "Now we're all here. Together." Chris joined hands with Ross. The trio were happy now. In a better place...


End file.
